The Three Laws of Bellatron

Not Bellatron's favourite book

You may have heard of Issac Asimov's Three laws of Robotics. They are the guiding principles in which Asimov insisted that robots should have programmed into themselves as operating protocols to ensure they conduct themselves appropriately.

Asimov's Robot Laws are:
  • A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
  • A robot must obey any orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
  • A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
Have you ever seen the Robocop film?

 These laws guided his operating procedure. Until he deliberately fried his circuitry so he could go after the bad guys with extreme prejudice.

You may also have heard the Bible story of when Jesus came along and rewrote the 10 Commandments by saying that we must all 'love one another'. Just as enlightened as Jesus was, Asimov further refined his laws of robotics and paraphrased what Jesus had to say into a fourth robotic law:
  •  A robot may not harm humanity, or, by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm.
Luckily for Belltron she was brought into being on Cybertron a gajillion years before Asimov was able to articulate his Laws for robots so she is not bound by them. Neither are Decepticons like Megatron for that matter...

A few years back Bellatron was doing some community service by reading the Dune saga novels to enlightened children in a local school, in the city of London when the teacher noted the children had been studying robots and the advancement of a science and wondered if Bellatron had a view on Asimov's Law. 

Bellatron smiled, lit an illegally imported Cuban cigar, put on her safety glasses, slugged back a pint of gin and a gallon of homebrew and wrote her response to the laws on the class blackboard (hers in bold):




  • A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. Unless they are a punk ass b'arch.



  • A robot must obey any orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. Get the hell off my lawn, b'arch. I'm my own robot. Pass me some more gin!




  • A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law. I'm gonna rip anyone who touches my sweet sexy ass a brand new one.



  • A robot may not harm humanity, or, by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm. I'm gonna show Megatron where he can shove his plans to take over the Earth!


  • Bellatron, it is almost needless to say, was not asked back by the school to share any more of her wisdom.

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