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| Megatron: wants to have Bellatron's babies |
Bellatron was amused to hear that Megatron had felt obliged to release a press statement to the media today clarifying that he was not in love with robot warrior goddess, Bellatron.
The curt, one paragraph statement reads us thus:
'Due to continued harassment by paparazzi and other endless innuendo published on the internet, I felt it was time to clarify that I am not in love with the Bellatron, nor have I ever been. At this time in my life, I am completely committed to erasing the Autobots from the face of the universe and I have no time for trivial matters such as seeking relationships with intellectually stimulating women. Please let me read 'Enger's Game in peace, it's got some great themes!
Industry insiders wonder if this press release was in response to rumours flying around Hollywood that Megatron got wasted at the Viper Room last weekend and was telling anyone who would listen that he wanted to have Bellatron's babies and he couldn't understand why she kept spurning his advances.
Bellatron offered us this telling quote in response "Megatron is the Robert Mugabe of Transformers.
He is a metallic moron who has endangered the lives of many humans in his bloody-minded war with the Autobots. He is no friend of mine, despite him sending me roses and a bottle of wine on every Valentine's day for the past three years. He is a slippery snake. Besides, a true hero already has my heart".
Megatron's 'people' have refused to return to calls related to Bellatron's reference to Valentine flowers but the rumors that Bellatron is secretly dating Optimus Prime must surely be going to pick up again after this outburst. Industry insiders have observed Prime serenading Belltron with gifts of 20w50 oil for use in her lawnmower, however that's all we know.
Those in the know have alluded to a relationship with the bad boy Darth Vader and that the supposed relationship with Optimus Prime is merely misdirection.
Take a sip on your ph tested kombucha, and sit back, this is gonna be a wild ride!
The curt, one paragraph statement reads us thus:
'Due to continued harassment by paparazzi and other endless innuendo published on the internet, I felt it was time to clarify that I am not in love with the Bellatron, nor have I ever been. At this time in my life, I am completely committed to erasing the Autobots from the face of the universe and I have no time for trivial matters such as seeking relationships with intellectually stimulating women. Please let me read 'Enger's Game in peace, it's got some great themes!
Industry insiders wonder if this press release was in response to rumours flying around Hollywood that Megatron got wasted at the Viper Room last weekend and was telling anyone who would listen that he wanted to have Bellatron's babies and he couldn't understand why she kept spurning his advances.
Bellatron offered us this telling quote in response "Megatron is the Robert Mugabe of Transformers.
He is a metallic moron who has endangered the lives of many humans in his bloody-minded war with the Autobots. He is no friend of mine, despite him sending me roses and a bottle of wine on every Valentine's day for the past three years. He is a slippery snake. Besides, a true hero already has my heart".
Megatron's 'people' have refused to return to calls related to Bellatron's reference to Valentine flowers but the rumors that Bellatron is secretly dating Optimus Prime must surely be going to pick up again after this outburst. Industry insiders have observed Prime serenading Belltron with gifts of 20w50 oil for use in her lawnmower, however that's all we know.
Those in the know have alluded to a relationship with the bad boy Darth Vader and that the supposed relationship with Optimus Prime is merely misdirection.
Take a sip on your ph tested kombucha, and sit back, this is gonna be a wild ride!
My Name is Hans Gruber
ReplyDeleteI am the legal representative on Earth for Megatron. I write to convey my client's disappointment in that you continue to spread rumours of Megatron's love for Bellatron.
You are hereby ordered to cease and desist making any representations relevant to the affairs of Megatron's heart.
Insincere regards
Hans